i think my mom watched the whole time
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
