Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
