Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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