My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
