if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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