He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
