Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
