we have officially lost it.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
