Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
