who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
