i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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