It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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