you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize