I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
