smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
