It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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