nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
