And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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