nutella sex= disaster
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
