at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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