Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
