So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
