I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
