at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
