Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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