I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
