i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
