How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
