Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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