In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
