Cold hands, warm shart.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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