You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Green mimosas i think yes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
