It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize