I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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