I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In other news, I just burned my penis
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
