i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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