New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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