Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesnβt want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
