It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My cat gives me a boner
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
