i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
