You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
