I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
