Will you blow on my dice?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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