i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
