i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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