She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
