I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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