imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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