this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
40s are totally the cure
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
