went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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