she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
