Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
