I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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