I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Holy shit dude........stairs
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