I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
