last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
