So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize