Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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