Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
