Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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