we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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