Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
