I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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