Swine flu. Run for my life!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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