You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
