Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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