so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
