Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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