I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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